so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
