Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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