If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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