I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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