how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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