i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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