belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
bring money and cleavage
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
