we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
