At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
