I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
