Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
