Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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