Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
50% drunk capacity currently
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
