just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
