Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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