Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
