Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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