If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
