Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
