your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
pray to the hookup gods
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