LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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