i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
