He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
