it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
