just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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