I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
