We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
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