Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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