Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
