we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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