Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
