If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize