"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
