Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
