I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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