Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
