I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she pinky promised me she was 18
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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