what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
