he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
