So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i think i just lost a toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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