There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
