I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
