That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
