At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
