let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
