how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
