So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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