ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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