bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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