i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
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Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
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I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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