we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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