you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
