While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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