just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
