I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
