we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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