There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
