i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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