3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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