in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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