Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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