i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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