You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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