I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
