i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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