Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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